4.23.2015 Safari Pool

This is pretty hazy, but I'll try my best to remember most of this:

In a natural waterhole/hot spring type of environment, with the whole crew of friends. We're all sitting up against a cliff (but in the water) because the water dropped off really quickly into a deep abyss type of place (but not really in a scary way). The water is full of wild animals. Even ones that don't swim (giraffes, alligators, gorillas, weird fish, exotic birds just floating around like how ducks chill on water). They're all just kind of watching us (and our dogs, who are also with us), swimming by slowly, staring. We then figured out we were hanging close to the cliff because if we went into the deep water the wild animals would have the green light to rip us apart and eat us. It was kind of like we were at a zoo, but we were the entertainment for the animals.

At some point Andrew showed up and was being a real dick to Mikey and Will, and was telling them they had to give him an ipad? Mikey ended up giving him a leapfrog ipad knock off, and Andrew left thinking he had a legit ipad. Then Mikey and Will high-fived.

4.20.2015 Tub stomping

I was having a spot of tea with a lovely little old couple, in their charming little apartment. Somehow, dream me convinced myself that this cute couple was actually my parents. While we are having good conversation, the door breaks down, and these two thugs storm in (one male, one female). They start roughing things up and hit the old man (my dad!) in the head with a crow bar. I get really pissed, and rush the old lady (my mom!) into the bathroom to hide in a closet. I come back out, grab a fireplace poker, and start beating into these two thugs. I manage to knock both of them unconscience, and then proceed to drag their bodies into the bathroom. I place both of their heads, with their mouths open, against the edge of the tub (setting up for a curb stomp, but instead of a curb, on the edge of the bathtub). I attempt to stomp the girl thug's head, but because the tub isn't made of concrete, her head just slips off the smooth edge. I have to keep replacing it, and trying my hardest to keep it still. She starts to gain consciousness, but my elderly mother comes out of the closet and holds the head still for me, so I can stomp it properly. Stomp, stomp, stomp.

Sometimes I have really brutal and gruesome dreams, and they are completely out of nowhere. I guess this is my subconscious worrying about my parents aging and people trying to take advantage of them, or hurt them? Moral of the story: don't mess with my parents, especially during tea time.

04.19.2015 Abandoned Unicorn

Driving to a cute little farm house that is for sale in our price range. When Joe and I get there, there is a white unicorn tied to the fence post. There was a note describing the unicorn's past adventures and achievements, as well as his name, which was really fucking long and hard to remember. His life story was basically a really bad D&D story line / fantasy novel. I told Joe I didn't believe all this crap, so I called Dru (owner of LaMancha) to come and take the unicorn to the rescue. The rest of the dream was us bitching about how people are careless, just up and abandoning their majestic unicorns when they didn't feel like taking care of them anymore.

Never got to see the inside of the house.

04.02.2015 Diabeetus

Spooky got the diabeetus.

03.30.2015 Excursions

Joe and I are on a sort of vacation with lots of side excursions:

-One was a big rock (somewhere between a boulder and a small island) surrounded by really pretty blue-green water. We would occasionally dip our toes in the water, but mainly I was hunting for dinosaur bones. I eventually found a big skull of a triceratops looking dinosaur, with teeth instead of a beak. I was super excited, but bummed I couldn't dig it up and take it home (it was huge).

-Then we were in a sort of petting zoo run by some Amish ladies. They had a Galapagos tortoise (but twice the size of your average Galaptort) with a deformity right down the middle of his shell (like a big mouth on the top). There were also a lot of bunny rabbits and ducks that I was trying to release.

-And then we were on a big raft (like the white water rafts) with seat belts. We were strapped in with a bunch of other people, and the whole raft was dropped from a plane into a canyon. When we are about halfway down a big parachute pops up from the center of the raft, and we just float around in the canyon (like hot air balloon style, but with magic instead of fire, I guess).

3.25.2015 Ma in Gossip Harbor

I was at work when somebody came in and handed me a little gray lamb (a live one). I was extremely happy because IRL I really want sheep. I named the the lamb "Ma", and carried her around everywhere with me. I remember thinking to myself that I should stop naming my pets after characters or personalities (Ma is the head sheep from Babe), but oh well this time. I could grab a chunks of wool and big slabs of felt would just start sliding off of her coat. I was handing out a lot of felt to people. Ma and I would sit and watch a lot of Doctor Who together, while I was at work. 

Joe woke me up at some point last night, and I said "welcome to gossip harbor!". Joe asked who was at gossip harbor and I replied "everybody". I have no recollection of this conversation at all.

01.20.2015 Salamander/Catfish

Flying around in the clouds, riding a giant white (blind cave salamander/ catfish- pick your preference, I can't remember which one it was). I was using it's (red external gills/ whiskers) as reins. He was really friendly, kind of like the luck dragon from The NeverEnding Story.

That's it. It was awesome.

01.19.2015 Storage Unit

I took a group walk along Commerce Drive in Exton (the busy road where work is located off of.) with Joe, Sarah, Ani, Aunt Donna, and some miscellaneous ladies (Joe was the only dude with us). It was a pretty long walk and we found some doggies along the way that we played with and released back "into the wild". When we got back to our cars, Ani drove (!) me and Joe back to school (Shanahan type setting). Cait and I went to biology class with a bunch of baked goods we had made. Apparently it was bring baked goods to class day, because everybody brought some. I don't remember what I made or what anybody else had at our lab table, BUT Cait made oatmeal cookies with peanuts (and, hilariously, the peanuts were still in their shells). I asked her why she didn't shell the peanuts before putting them in the cookies, and she responded that that was how her dad liked peanut oatmeal cookies. We goofed around in class too much, and so as punishment we were sent out to organize some storage unit.

At this point I'm flying solo, climbing really shitty shelves in a dark and damp storage unit. Mainly, I'm trying to take out all of the black dividers (just big black pieces of plastic). Meggie and Derek (friends from State College) show up and are catching the dividers as I'm throwing them out the door. I am on the the highest shelf, which is wobbling a lot, so I start freaking out over the idea of falling to my death. Meggie and Derek knocked another shelf over to steady the one I was on, which didn't work great, but it was better than it had been. I found some Brom art books, and Derek told me I should talk to Brom about all of my problems, because he had similar experiences (?). I thought, "Yeah, that's a good idea!" and threw all of the Brom books down to Meggie. I then crawled down the shelves and woke up. My alarm had gone off an hour and a half ago.

I don't really get this one.

01.18.2015 Ice Floods

Huge rains comes in and everything starts to freeze. I'm somewhere out by myself, near the Reading museum when this all hits. The ocean raises up really quickly, complete with a thick sheet of ice over top of it, consuming everything. I managed to land a kayak (a bunch of other people did, too) and we all decide we need to head south. The majority of this dream is just maneuvering between big chunks of ice, and not getting flipped by waves. I got to an area where there was a university, and all of the students where terrified (in kayaks) and really bad at kayaking. I watch a number of them flip to their deaths, and tried to pull a few up into my boat (saved some!). Somewhere along the lines the ocean turned to, what actually looked like, rushing, thick bean chili. It behaved like an ultra fast quick sand, and it would immediately just suck you under ice if you got caught in it. Lucky me, I flipped my kayak in it and got pulled under. I grabbed onto the bottom of a small chunk of ice, and the chili stuff flipped the ice block, so I was able to get out of it and back into my kayak. For a while, I just watched more people dying, committing suicide because this was the end and everybody they knew was gone. This went on for a depressingly long time, until I ended up on land. It was sort of tropical, so I assumed it was somewhere near Florida. I somehow found my mom there and was crying because I was so happy to see her. She told me not to worry about the mummies and artifacts in the museums because she knew great people who worked at the Reading museum, and they are taking good care of all of that stuff, I broke down and told her how I witnessed most of the people who worked at the museum die from the ice floods. This was around when I woke up, my face covered in drool, and both cats asleep on my pillow (I am pillowless- and I'm blaming that for the weird-ass dream).

01.12.2015 Beatin' bitches

Joe and I were at some bar or restaurant type of place just hanging out and throwing back some beers. Stevie and Annie are back from Australia, and come in with some girl from Australia that they found? We are all hanging out for a while, and this Australian girl is really irking me the whole time. Late into the evening I see her putting spinach in Joe's hair and on his shoulders, but he doesn't realize it. I'm not sure if I took it to mean she was flirting with him or making fun of him somehow, but I got mega pissed and confronted her. I basically just throw her to the ground and start brutally beating her to a pulp. Eventually I come to the realization that I'm beating a corpse. I totally just killed this person for putting spinach in my husband's hair. I stand up and say to myself "well, this is a crime scene now" and bust some chalk out of my pocket. I do a really intricate chalk outline of her body for the police, and then we all leave, like nothing really exciting happened.

01.04.2015 Paw Paws

I was on some sort of camping trip where I was leading a hike for a bunch of ladies (like, adult girl scouts?). We came to this big field with ONE tree in the middle of it. I identified said tree as a paw paw tree, and started gushing about how delicious paw paws are. Nobody in my group had ever tried a paw paw, so I lead them to the tree to get some. I (brave leader!) climbed to the top of the tree, and shook all of the branches, so paw paws were raining down on my followers. They were so excited, jumping in the air, catching paw paws. But then once they all started chomping into the paw paws, the dream turned into a sort of silly slasher (slasher for paw paws) film. Every single one of those stupid women HATED paw paws (I figured out they were not yet ripe), all taking one bite and throwing them into the golden, straw-like grass. I climbed back down to gather a few paw paws for myself, but the greedy bitches bit into ALL of them. I was horrified. I had NO paw paws, and all of the beautiful unripened paw paws were now rotting in the grass, with chunks of flesh ripped out of them. And to rub salt into my wounds, all of the ladies were mad that paw paws sucked so much.

On a non-dream note, I'm still actively searching for paw paw trees, all of the time.